Behind Brown Eyes
21st century flogger. That's food-blogger, fyi. Now if it were the 17th century...
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@Krystina_Lynne
Posts tagged "funny"
This is so true! Love me some super green bananas. Except in my oatmeal. It’s tastier if they’re mildly over-ripe! God I love The Golden Girls…and Betty White. I mean, obviously.
- Me: "Mom, what are you wearing to the show?"
- Mom: "I don't know."
- Me: "That's not helpful."
- Mom: "Um...pants."
- Me: "PANTS. Really?! Oh, so you're going to wear pants--as opposed to not wearing any? Mom, are you a guy right now? Seriously you are so not helpful...like how dressed up are you gonna be?"
- Mom: "Medium."
- Me: "MEDIUM! THAT'S A COFFEE DRINK SIZE!!!"
- Mom: "Business casual? What do you want me to say, Krystina?!"
- Me: "Like, black jeans, with a nicer shirt and a cardi, type of thing. But nevermind. It doesn't matter anymore."
- Mom: "Well what are you wearing?"
- Me: "A venti skinny caramel macchiato. No whip. Extra foam."
- Mom: (laughing)
- Me: "I think I may just go to the mall by Aunt Jessica. They have a calendar store and a big Sports Authority."
- Mom: "Yea. Why don't you just go to the mall by Aunt Jessica. They a have a Sports Authority and a big...HUGE Dick's."
- Me: "Really mom? A big, huge Dick's??"
- Mom: "Yea...oh! I didn't mean it like that."
A great Grandma moment. Ya gotta love this adorable little Italian.
- Dad: "I like your hair like that. It's like, 'I don't care what I look like. I'm just cool.'"
- Me: "Umm...thanks Dad." (This was after he called me Austin Powers last night).
- Dad: "Krystina. Did you hear the coyotes last night?"
- Krystina: "Thankfully, no."
- Dad: "I went outside and started howling back at them. And then I started making a bear noise. (Husky grunt). 'Woo. Woo.' I figured a bear would scare them off. 'WOO!'"
- Krystina: "You're ridiculous...and then you found $10?"
- Me: "Dad, that photo of you with the antlers got seven 'likes'!"
- Dad: "That's all?? (Pause--serious tone). I don't want people I don't know 'liking' me. That's weird. And I'm not happy about it."
- Me: (outraged) "Mom, what the heck happened to the 'Candy Mom' ornament I gave you?! You put her laying face-down on the pine needles! She looks like she plummeted to her death!"
- Mom: (plainly) "...she looks like me after I finish baking Christmas cookies every year."
- Me: (endless laughter)
My London Reenactment of Harry Potter forcing Dumbledore to drink the Potion of Despair in the Half-Blood Prince [as originally seen here]. But seriously, this museum we went to in London could’ve fooled me. If it had a handwritten sign saying “HP MOVIE PROP!” I would’ve (figuratively) bought it.
- Me: "Mom, maybe we should get some chickens in the backyard...to have fresh eggs."
- Mom: (Repulsive, silent glare)
- Me: "Do I just need a female, or do I need a male and a female?"
- Mom: "I don't know what you need, Krystina. I'm not in to chicken farming. I'd faster get a dog before I'd have chickens."
